In the first two weeks of my sophomore year of high school I got a concussion that lasted just over 9 months and I have not been the same since.
High school is a pivotal time in anyone's life. Its the time you are starting to truly figure out who you are. You're testing out new hairstyles, finding new friends, and trying to navigate the crazed maze that is high school. Doing that with a perfectly functioning brain is hard enough. With an concussion, it's damn near impossible.
I was kicked in my right temple in the middle of a high school soccer game. Immediately I was seeing double and feeling like I was going to puke. At first, my doctors thought it was a minor concussion. The first few days I had short term memory loss, headaches, nausea, and dizziness. As the week went by, all those symptoms slowly started to seemingly disappear. After my week and a half of symptoms and a week of no symptoms, I was cleared to go back to soccer. Within minutes of warming up at my first practice back, all of my symptoms returned. This time they were all twice as bad as and they stayed for 9 more months. Those 9 months were the hardest times of my life thus far.
The first few months I very slowly started to improve. For some unknown reason at month 4 instead of getting better I started to quickly decline. My headaches were as bad as they'd ever been and I couldn't focus on anything for more than 5 seconds. I felt completely useless. I could remember how my brain used to function and no matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't working that way anymore. I struggled for months to grasp the idea that my life, and my brain, would never be the same. I couldn't understand how one day I was fine and now I couldn't even read a book.
I hit rock bottom. I had no motivation to do anything to help myself. I was stuck in the mindset that this was my life now. I would have to live everyday with a pounding headache, nausea, dizziness, sensitivity to light and sound, and memory loss coming and going as they pleased. I no longer felt as though I had any control over my life and at no point would I get it back.
With no apparent light at the end of my dark dark tunnel, I gave up. Then my friend invited me to church. I always made an excuse to not go but this time I agreed to go. I arrived to church that morning nervous to what I would experience. She introduced me around and everyone immediately knew who I was though I knew none of them. It was clear that I was confused and someone explained to me that my friend had asked her church to pray for me and they all had. I was so surprised that yet no one knew me they took time out of their lives to pray for me. The combination of the love and support from my mother and those I met at church gave me the nudge I needed to turn my mindset around. Once I started to realize that I would recover from this concussion, I slowly started getting better. Day by day the severity of my symptoms became less and less. One week after the school year ended, I was officially "healed" from my concussion and no longer had symptoms. Though I have officially no longer had a concussion since June of 2013, I know I am not fully healed and probably won't be for many years to come. Since the end of my concussion symptoms, I've come to notice all the little things that are different about me.
My concussion took so much from me. I used to love to read. When I was younger, when I would get in trouble, my parents would take my books away as a punishment and now I struggle to read even a chapter. Not to toot my own horn but I was really really good at math before my concussion. I could do long division and multiplication in my head easily and now I can do easy math in my head but nothing more. My memory is completely shot. If I don't write something down, I am not going to remember it. My friends have gotten extremely used to hearing the same story at least 3 times from me as I just can't remember if I've told them or not. I've missed countless appointments and been late to too many events. I have next to no memories from the two years before my concussion, the year of my concussion, and the two years afterwards. I just can't remember. If I get too stressed out, I get a pulsating feeling from the place on my head where I was kicked which then turns into what I call a concussion headache. If you've had a concussion, you know what that means. I am no longer a morning person. It takes at least 30 minutes to wake me up. Snooze is pressed to many times to count on my average mornings. There are bunches of other things that I've noticed but won't bore you with the nitty-gritty details.
Though it seems to have taken so much, it also gave me more than I could have every asked for. Before my concussion, from the very little I remember, I was a decent person. Now, I love the person who I've become. I take everything that comes my way and look at the best in it. Whether its a situation or a person, I know you can find the best in it. I have such a genuine love for life that everyday can be a great day, even on the bad days. My concussion brought me such wonderful self-confidence. I now know that I can conquer anything that is thrown at me since I've made it through those 10 months. I've done things that I would not have had the guts to do had I not gotten my concussion. For sure, my pre-concussion self would not have made the decision to graduate high school early and study abroad in Spain.
For these things that I have gained from my concussion, I am truly grateful.
I hit rock bottom. I had no motivation to do anything to help myself. I was stuck in the mindset that this was my life now. I would have to live everyday with a pounding headache, nausea, dizziness, sensitivity to light and sound, and memory loss coming and going as they pleased. I no longer felt as though I had any control over my life and at no point would I get it back.
With no apparent light at the end of my dark dark tunnel, I gave up. Then my friend invited me to church. I always made an excuse to not go but this time I agreed to go. I arrived to church that morning nervous to what I would experience. She introduced me around and everyone immediately knew who I was though I knew none of them. It was clear that I was confused and someone explained to me that my friend had asked her church to pray for me and they all had. I was so surprised that yet no one knew me they took time out of their lives to pray for me. The combination of the love and support from my mother and those I met at church gave me the nudge I needed to turn my mindset around. Once I started to realize that I would recover from this concussion, I slowly started getting better. Day by day the severity of my symptoms became less and less. One week after the school year ended, I was officially "healed" from my concussion and no longer had symptoms. Though I have officially no longer had a concussion since June of 2013, I know I am not fully healed and probably won't be for many years to come. Since the end of my concussion symptoms, I've come to notice all the little things that are different about me.
My concussion took so much from me. I used to love to read. When I was younger, when I would get in trouble, my parents would take my books away as a punishment and now I struggle to read even a chapter. Not to toot my own horn but I was really really good at math before my concussion. I could do long division and multiplication in my head easily and now I can do easy math in my head but nothing more. My memory is completely shot. If I don't write something down, I am not going to remember it. My friends have gotten extremely used to hearing the same story at least 3 times from me as I just can't remember if I've told them or not. I've missed countless appointments and been late to too many events. I have next to no memories from the two years before my concussion, the year of my concussion, and the two years afterwards. I just can't remember. If I get too stressed out, I get a pulsating feeling from the place on my head where I was kicked which then turns into what I call a concussion headache. If you've had a concussion, you know what that means. I am no longer a morning person. It takes at least 30 minutes to wake me up. Snooze is pressed to many times to count on my average mornings. There are bunches of other things that I've noticed but won't bore you with the nitty-gritty details.
Though it seems to have taken so much, it also gave me more than I could have every asked for. Before my concussion, from the very little I remember, I was a decent person. Now, I love the person who I've become. I take everything that comes my way and look at the best in it. Whether its a situation or a person, I know you can find the best in it. I have such a genuine love for life that everyday can be a great day, even on the bad days. My concussion brought me such wonderful self-confidence. I now know that I can conquer anything that is thrown at me since I've made it through those 10 months. I've done things that I would not have had the guts to do had I not gotten my concussion. For sure, my pre-concussion self would not have made the decision to graduate high school early and study abroad in Spain.
For these things that I have gained from my concussion, I am truly grateful.
Hello Molly wood. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, India. I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post which gives me an opportunity to get connected with you. I did go through your post. It is good to know that you love the person you have become. I am truly blessed and feel privileged and honored to get connected with you as well as know you and your interest to volunteer. I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged, strengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 37 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richerst of rich and the poorest of poor live. We rechout to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the audlts from the west to come to MUMBAI TO work with us during their vacation time. Since you have your interest in volunteering and travelling we would love to have you come to Mumbai with your friends to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. Looking forward toh ear from you very soom. My email idis: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my nameis Diwakar wAnkhede. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends. Also wishing you a blessed and a Christ centered New year.
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